Week one home with Logan

On the way home from the hospital, we stopped to see the dogs who were staying at my inlaws house. 

My mom was waiting at my house with balloons scattered around the outside and inside. And the "its a boy" sign was/is above my garage door. She cleaned my house while we were in the hospital and Bryan mowed the lawn for us. Later that night, they came over and cooked dinner for us at our house. And my inlaws stopped by.

 Matt wanted to copy Logans position.

 He doesnt mind being on his tummy.

 The boys! Minus Olly.

 Hes just cute!

 Me and Mommy!

 My mom was home for the week and Matt really needed to be at work. So Matt had Monday off and we bought groceries. Tuesday my mom brought me and Logan to his first dr appointment. He was only 3 ozs shy of his birth weight which is wonderful. Then we went to Walmart and got some little boys clothes. Wednesday My mom and Bryan took me and Logan to breakfast. Wednesday evening, my mom and Grandma took me and Logan to Kohls for more boy clothes. Thursday, we stayed home. Friday we went to Tom and Sonyas and did some cute little boy pictures. Saturday, I woke up early and went to McDonalds to say hi to my old coworkers. Then Matt and I went to breakfast. Saturday night we had a BBQish thing at my cousins with the family.
  Can you tell Im not one for staying home cooped up? We took it easy and I did relax and sit down much of the week cuddling with my new man.
  How did my baby sleep for the first week home? Better than I could have asked. Bed at 10 or 11 up at 2 or 3 and then again at 6-7. And he slept in the pack 'n play right next to the bed. There were a few times he fell asleep in our bed while I was nursing him and fell asleep but usually he was in his bed. I felt more rested having a newborn than I did when I was pregnant.
   I had to stay on top of my meds for the week or else I could feel it. I was going slow and taking it easy but it was sore for a good while. Night was the worst. Getting in and out of bed was the hardest part and after laying down for 3 or 4 hours, getting up hurt. Every night and every day was much better than the day before. I was taking ibuprofen for swelling and percocets for pain. By thursday, one week after c-section, I stopped my percs which I was down to only taking once in the morning. I took regular tylenol as needed. I couldnt carry Logan in his carrier or laundry up the stairs but I had people to do that for me :)
   Week one was easy. Too easy. I recovered and Logan slept every hour of the day and night. Too easy. Next time wont be so easy.

hospital stay in pictures

Matt cuddling with Logan

Me cuddling with Logan

Me with my baby, Bonnie soon to have hers.

My accommodations 

Olivia and Logan

Ready to go home

Were out of the hospital and on our own now!

My hospital stay

    After my C-section, they brought me back into my labor room for a bit to get me situated and give the baby his bath. They put him under the light table because he was cold, hense the purple feet and hands. The nurse told me to try to feed him and handed  me my baby and walked away. Uh?!?!? Never done this before! Just me and Matt in the room and now Im trying to pretend I know what to do. Turns out, I didnt need to know. The child just latched right on and did what he knew to do. It was amazing how something that could have been difficult, was coming so easily. I was thankful and the baby was happy.

    They wheeled us into our recovery room at 3:30am. I was still attached to something at every limb. They left the blood pressure cuff on me all night since I was getting checked every hour. Was still on the magnesium and fluids and still had the catheter. I also had the things on my legs still for blood flow while I laid in bed. I was drinking water like crazy, just as I had in labor. The nurse stayed in my room all night sitting at a computer in the corner. She yelled at me for drinking too much water and told me I was on fluids so the water was not necessarily. She also yelled at me for using my phone and told me I needed to sleep. Every time she came over to me to check my blood pressure, she would move my table with my phone and water off to the side but not put it back. I would ask for my table back and she would sigh and put it back. Then at 5, she told me she was taking the baby to the nursery because he was getting evaluated by the pediatrician soon and I needed sleep. I made sure he would not get a paci or bottle and she promised that they dont give those out unless the parents authorize it. Good enough for me. Im not sure I slept though. With the beeping every time my IV thing went off for no stupid reason (happened many times over the few days I had my IV), or my blood pressure cuff or the pain or all the meds and percocets and the bubbles in my belly or the itching on my belly that I couldn't itch because I was numb. Recovery sucked.

    Sometimes after the sun came up, I was still wide awake. My dr came in to make sure all was good, and I was healing just fine. My blood pressure was normal for me and I was released from the cuff. They were still going to check it often, but not every hour anymore. Matt got on his computer in the corner and I just chilled out in my bed. Breakfast came and I drank my apple juice and water and milk but I threw up my first bite of food. Damn it. I was still on fluids so it didn't matter but the food looked so good. I could drink and drink and drink, but not eat a bite. I drank lots of water and apple juice all day. I had to keep the shade down and the room quiet still but I was bored. I had a few visitors which was nice. I was exhausted of course, but bored. Stuck in bed and my baby just slept. 

   I got a new nurse (thank goodness) and she was funny! That afternoon, she told Matt to change the diaper. She said, "go ahead dad!" and walked away. Poor Matt walked up to the kid and looked a bit confused. I was laughing in bed. I told the nurse he had never done this before. She looked intrigued and walked back to Matt and watched him for a sec. Then she just kind of told him what to do and he did just fine :) She also taught him how to swaddle. Lunch came and I took a bite and threw it up. Damn it. I continues to drink a lot though. My nurse laughed at how often they had to empty my pee bag. 

   I got a message in the afternoon from Bonnie who said her water broke. She was due Aug 23 and we joked that If I went late and she went early we could be in the hospital together. Looks like it wasn't just a joke! after a boring day of sitting around and sleeping in 2 minute increments, sometime in the evening a nurse came in and said "There's a Bonnie here to see you" while looking all confused. Bonnie came into my room with her hospital gown and IV pole. 

   At 11pm they took me off the magnesium. And the nurse made me stand. That sucked. Then at about 1am, she took out my catheter and told me to page her when I had to pee. Couldn't they leave it in and let me sleep? At 3:30, I had to pee. Paged the nurse and of course she assisted me to pee. Then she decided that since I was up, We should go walking! Cause thats what I wanted to do at 3:30am after not sleeping for 48 hours. We left and walked the hall slowly but then I heard a crying coming from my room. Baby was crying hard and Matt was just sleeping through it right next to him. Me and the nurse just laughed at him as I got back into bed and fed him. They took me off the fluid sometimes the next morning and I was officially free from the pole. I still had the blood flow boot things on and so when I needed to pee, they had to come assist me and take them off. This was now saturday morning. 

   Breakfast came and I ate it and it stayed down! I was fine going to the bathroom myself so they took my blood flow things away. They took my fluid away too so I was free from all wires! My mom visited and we headed to see Bonnie who was having a fun run around with dr's and labor. I got some other visitors too. Sometime that morning I tried to change a diaper now that I could stand and walk. I asked Matt what to do about the cord and diaper situation and he pushed me out of the way. "I got this" he said. Okay. So then I swaddled my son and Matt said "I'll fix it". So apparently Matt became parent of the year sometime during our hospital stay.
  By Saturday evening I was walking the halls just fine and taking care of my baby by myself. I took a shower and then my in laws came for a visit. Matt was debating whether he would stay another night or just go home because he was sleeping very poorly on the converted couch/bed thing. It sealed the deal when my gas meds were really kicking in and making the room stinky. The bubbles in my stomach were horrible. It was a weird sensation and of course actually farting was awkward because I couldn't feel most of my middle insides or outsides. So Matt went home for the night. I asked my nurse when I would go home, thinking it would be Monday or Tuesday morning. She said I could go home Sunday because I was doing fine on my own. Bonnie was moved to her recovery room after having her daughter, Olivia. We took our babies to each others rooms and walked the halls for a good part of the evening.
   I tried to sleep that night but it was hard. I couldn't really get in and out of bed very easily. The baby was in my arms most of the night because I couldn't reach his bassinet without getting up. I got out of bed at 4am and went to the rocking chair. We stayed in that chair for a few hours and watched the sun come up.
  At 8 I was to stop feeding the baby and at 9 he was going in for his circumcision. Matt came back while Logan was gone. We cleaned up and packed up and got ready to go home for noon. Logan came back crying so I was told to feed him to calm him down. When that didn't work, Matt took him and cuddled him and that did the trick. The discharge nurse came in and we did all the paperwork needed. At 1pm, we left the hospital and headed home with our new baby.

Labor and delivery in pictures.

Baby in belly

Putting in the car seat base

Bags are packed and ready to go

Being induced and hooked up to pitocin

Mom and Matt trying not to be bored

Me

Just got the epidural

2 puke bags and me looking great

c-section

Mom (new Grandma) cutting the cord

Baby!

Logan Matthew Bard

Labor and delivery

    We reported to Cooley Dickinson Hospital at 7am. Got our room and got settled for a long day of induction. I was checked and still (3weeks now) a 3cm, fully effaced and fully thinned. I was told that as soon as things got going they would get going fast for me and pushing should be quick since baby is so low already. Started my iv at 7:30 and was pricked 3 times in one hand by one girl, and finally once in the other hand by a different girl. Blood pressure was checked and it was sky high. 170+ over 100+. Not sure of the numbers as I got it checked every 5 mins for the next 48 hours. They started pitocin at 8. I was laying in bed while Matt, my mom, and friend Bethany sat at the table with their lap tops. By 10 I was still chillin in bed not feeling much of anything. They upped the pitocin every half hour from the start and it had been upped many times. They broke my water at noon and I was still 3cm before they did. The first contraction after my water broke was the most painful thing ever and then they kept coming. Asked if I wanted to get in the tub and of course I did since I felt so dirty in a bed my water just broke in.

    Of course Matt was playing video games. They called him into the bathroom as I was crying and he said "wait a sec". Oh boy did he get shit! He was in the middle of a timed event that only happens once in a blue moon. Even though I was in pain, I was laughing at him because I understood it would be just a minute but the nurses gave him so much shit for it. It was funny and took my mind off things for a sec. He came in the bathroom and we turned off all the lights. I could only kneel and I did not want him to touch me at all or even talk because I couldn't process his words during a contraction. Problem was, I was not getting a break in between contractions! They brought Matt his lunch so he ate his lunch in the bathroom. We stayed for about an hour in there but I started begging for an epidural. I was not getting a break and it was taking its toll on me. The pain sucked but It was the consistency of it that really really got to me. They got me to the bed and I was only 4cm dilated. The nurse said "WOW these contractions are coming right on top of each other! Lets turn this pit down a bit! Sorry, I was on lunch". Seriously?!?!?! This was unnecessary pain because no one was paying attention? Thank goodness they turned it down because the anesthesiologist was able to do his job while I sat still. I think I got one contraction while he put in the epidural but it was okay. 3 contractions later and I was not feeling a thing. That was at at 1pm. 

    Then they decided I was a risky patient with my extremely high blood pressure. They decided to give me the magnesium through my IV to prevent seizures. I was non symptomatic so it was confusing to them. I had no headache and no spots in my vision and absolutely no swelling whatsoever.  I also was now being given fluids and a med for the blood pressure. This was a med they haven't used in years and actually had to go look up the side effects and print them out for us. My IV hooks were filling up fast at this point and I was feeling like crap. Lights had to go down and my room had to be limited of people. Still had mom, Matt and Bethany in there though.

    At 3pm my grandma and aunt Linda showed up as I was being told I was 9cm dilated. That went fast! So my grandma stuck around and Linda went to the waiting room. Bethany went to work. Checked me again at 5 because I was throwing up and I was 10cm and ready to push. They turned the epidural down a bit and I was able to feel contractions but it was barely painful. Contractions only came every 3 or 4 mins at a time and some I couldn't feel. I was trying to read the monitor but it was boring. Matt and my mom were trying too but no one was really telling me when to push. My dr after a half hour said it was going to take some time pushing but most women don't go over 2 hours. She left to attend a birth and came back. I was still pushing after 2 hours. I kept asking "Is it doing anything?" and was being told yes. Kept going and going and going. Dr left to deliver another baby and I was left with nurses who did not work well together. One nurse would tell me to breath through contractions and then all of a sudden a different nurse was yelling at me to hold my breath! My grandmas was counting when no nurses were paying attention and she counted so fast. It was amusing but frustrating. I was given oxygen and that stuff was awesome. I was also throwing up often, I was so thirsty and my mouth was so dry but I was throwing up my water. They told me not to drink or drink slow or eat the ice chips and I was! But I kept throwing it up. They restocked my barf bags twice and I held one at all time. I also had towels on my forehead and chest. My gram kept wetting them. Matt had one leg and my mom had the other. The nurses weren't even paying attention to me and the dr wasn't even in the room for most of my pushing after 6. I kept asking "Is it doing anything?" and again kept being told a little. I was being told I was pushing very very well. They wrote out my paperwork for August 4th but at 9pm we all wondered if that would be changed.  They let me keep pushing because I was doing it right and babys heart rate was perfect the whole time.

    At 9:30 I was told my pushing was not actually doing anything and I had 30 more mins of trying before I was going in for my c-section. At 10, they handed Matt his scrubs and he looked freaked out. My mom and Matt suited up as I was being given all the info and risks. Like I was paying attention to her, I was too concerned with making sure I was strong for my husband because I didn't want him to be scared. I wasn't scared. I was ready.
    I was now told I could not drink anything. Fine, I understand, but my mouth was so dry and I was begging the nurse to just let me swish water in my mouth. She kept saying no and getting pissy with me. I could feel my teeth being dry. I was almost in tears because it was so uncomfortable.
    I was put on the OR bed and the sheet went up and the prep work began. I continued to throw up twice during this process. Mom and Matt came in and I was being told I could not feel the pinching the Dr was doing. So they started the cut. I felt the cut. Not painful or anything, but I could tell it was a bikini cut. It felt like someone running their finger lightly over my lower stomach. I was then asked if I wanted the gender announced or shown to me. I said announced because I was too out of it and my eyes suck that I didn't want to have to pay attention. I could feel the tugging and pulling but it didn't hurt at all. I was very scared for what it would feel like when they actually pulled the baby out. I was then getting a lot of pressure and waiting for them to announce my babies gender. They pressure got more and more and I could feel them really getting in there. Then I could tell, they had the baby and were taking it out. It was such a surreal feeling as I could feel it and the pressure, but it didn't hurt. "Its a BOY!".
    I was just amazed to know what my baby finally was. A boy. A little baby boy! Then we heard the crying. My child, my son, was crying and here and healthy and perfect. My mom cut the cord because Matt was too squeamish. Apgar scores were 8 and 9. I looked over and saw Matt touching him. I cried, and cried and cried. Matt was touching his son, our son. When I opened my eyes again, I saw the pediatrician hand Matt our son. Matt was holding our 10 minute old son. Best sight I have ever seen. I could not stop crying.  He asked if my mom wanted to hold him and she said "yes" and held out her hands before he was even done speaking! Then Matt came to me.
    They stitched me together and put me back into my other bed. Gave me my baby and wheeled me out of there and back into my labor room. I was given ankle things to help with my blood circulation since I will be in bed for the next 24+hours. I had something attached to both ankles, a blood pressure cuff that they kept on me on my left arm, my iv in my right arm, and a catheter still. I had wires and things coming out of everywhere. I was also still throwing up, but that could be because I refused to stop drinking water. It was really good water and my mouth would not stop being dry. My dad and Bethany came and said goodbye as they had been waiting. My grandma and Aunt Linda left as soon as they heard baby was a boy and we were all going to be fine. By this time, it was 1am. Everyone was gone and Matt and I were very tired. We enjoyed a few minutes with our new son and the fact that I was mom and Matt was dad. We had a son. A beautiful and perfect son.
     After 3 years of trying, one round of ivf/icsi, one ovarian ectopic, a rough start to a pregnancy that ended with an overdue baby delivered via a c-section after an induction with a long labor and too many hours pushing, we welcomed Logan Matthew Bard into our family.

Logan Matthew Bard
born 8/4/2011 @ 10:53pm. 7lbs 3oz and 21"long.

the past week

The past week has been amazing! I have been busy doing not much of anything. I have started my birth story and will have a LONG post and many others coming soon. Im also trying to figure out the new computer, and buy stuff for my child! Need to order the bedding set now because we need to paint and decorate the room!

tomorrow is D-day! well, a week past D-day...

Tomorrow I am to report to the hospital at 7am for the very thing I wanted second to least. Pitocin. Damn it. Oh well. I couldn't get pregnant on my own, cant go into labor on my own either! Kinda funny in a way... sort of.

Its August!

So baby wanted August?!?! Now what is it waiting for?!?!
GET OUT NOW CHILD! please?!?!

So last night my back started hurting for the first time all pregnancy. It has hurt, but this is a painful hurt and not just a sore back feeling. My hips feel like they are being ripped apart, rightfully so. The movement last night was so painful I was crying. I was walking and rubbing my belly trying to get the kid to sleep. The pain was radiating throughout my whole body everytime the kid moved. I felt like the baby was falling out and I even checked a few times to make sure it wasnt actually halfway out. The pressure is intense. I am okay with how I feel. I understand why and all. Labor. But where the hell is the labor?!?!