quick update

Moving is mostly complete, Matt is at the old house cleaning up now. Christmas is over :(. And things are going back in order shortly. Once I get a bit of time, I have many things to write about and pictures to fallow. For now, I must look like I was productive while Matt is not home (cause hes working hard at the old house).

we moved!

And moving during the xmas season with a baby is just stupid.

4 month dr appointment

Today, Logan got shots. First shot, smiled. Second shot, Cried for a minute and then smiled. SCORE!

hight     = 26 1/4inches (90th)
Weight = 13lbs15.5oz  (25th)
head     = 42 cm            (50th)

Tall, skinny and average brain size.

4 months old

Mastered skills that most kids can do:
Smile and laugh: He is always smiling and we can get a pretty good laugh going sometimes.
Can bear weight on his legs: Oh yes. He can stand on his legs alone when you lean his back on the couch.
Coos when you talk to him: we carry conversations :P

Emerging skills that half of kids can do:
grasp a toy: yes... sort of. He can but he lets go really quick or cant hold for long.
rolls over from tummy to back: nope. Hes done it once or twice but those dont count cause he was kind of set up for it.

Advanced skills that a few kids can do:
imitate sounds like "baba" and "dada": Not those, or anything using words. He will however, blow raspberries on command.
Cuts first tooth: nope.
ready for solids: He gobbles down his rice cereal. He opens his mouth and keeps most of it in!

Logans eating rice cereal video

first meal!

Ive been trying to pump again to build a little stash for when we need a sitter again or a bottle in general. I am not pumping much right now so I had an ounce sitting in the fridge. We decided to see how good this little boy would do with some rice. The first few faces were funny but after that, he was opening his mouth for me. Snickers was not happy that this boy was getting food and he was not. Moxie went and took a drink out of the bowl.

Logans smiles

Happy baby!

Logans first hair cut

Logan had wings. He needed a little cleaning up around the ears.

Your going to do what with those?

Hmm... Not bad.

You've got my attention so I don't turn my head.

Handsome man.

That is Dwight, my moms cousin, and my grandma.

Dwight is also the first person who cut my hair :)

Logans first Christmas tree

This is no easy Christmas for us. We are packing up our house and hoping (still waiting on the final word from the underwriter) to be moving next week. It is not hard to move with a baby of Logans age at all. I have been cleaning in the morning while hes awake and packing during his nap. I have been working on the basement while Matt is home and I have a full trash can every friday morning. We want to move into our house right away so we can go about painting ours while we dont live here and the boy isnt breathing it all in. So, we bought a tree. A real tree. Why no? Because its Christmas time! We also have a kitten to deal with. So, we bought a reasonably smaller tree than we could get and are going to put just a few ornaments on. We will transport the tree to the new house. Might sound dumb but we wanted to make things harder on ourselves I guess. Im not going to break out the real decorations but having a tree will be nice.  How did Logan do on his first tree getting experience?

He slept through the whole thing.

Except the end. He woke up as we were leaving.

Hes trying so hard

    Logan wants to sit, but he cant. Logan wants to stand, but he cant. Logan wants to hold things, but he really cant very well. Logan wants to talk, but he isnt very good. What he is good at, is trying really hard to do the things he cant.

    Logan can stand, just not on his own. He calms down the moment his feet touch the ground. We barely have to hold him. I have leaned him up against the couch and he held that position for a good amount of seconds. 

    This is the first day I put together his jumperoo. He only needs a small one inch high box under it now because he knows how to use it and jump. He loves to be in it because he loves to use his legs and feet and be upright. He doesnt know how to play with anything on it yet but we give him his teethers and hes happy.

 Speaking of teethers, Im not sure he knows that Sophie is a teether. I think he might be practicing his kissing skills instead. He loves that Sophie so much, we got the smaller easier to hold version that I saw my neice maneuvering so well. He is not quite ready to hold things and grasp them on his own but he can manipulate them a little bit in his care. He can turn them slightly and he can grab things long enough to bring them to his mouth but he also doesnt know to let go and they fling to the floor as soon as he gets excited that he brought it to his face. Every day he gets a bit better.

 My boys.

one year ago today

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2010

465

I am pregnant. Oh my goodness! I have no idea what to do or how to feel. Im excited and really scared. My number is very high which is a very good sign. I go back in 4 days to see what the number does. We shall see how this goes! I will alert the media at Christmas time. Im excited for that. I have so many emotions and I feel emotionless at the same time.

One year ago, I got up early and had to get my blood drawn between 7-9am. I got there around 8, they took my blood, and I went home. I waited and waited and waited by the phone. I sat on the couch all day long with the tv off. I couldnt think, or feel, or even stand anymore. I just sat. And at 2pm, my phone rang. I can still hear it clear as day. "Kristin, Hi! Its Ellen" Ellen was the nurse who I saw a few times but talked to on the phone many many times. She has met Logan already because we love her. "Hi Ellen" "Well, your number is 465" "Holy shit" "Yeah, so I think its safe to say your pregnant Kristin" "Holy shit" "So we need you to come back in 4 days for a retest" "k" HOLY SHIT! I cried. And cried and ran around the house and cried and sat down again and cried and then called my husband, crying of course. Called my mom crying. And then I collected my marbles and realized I had a long time ahead of me before I had a baby. A baby that I was finally growing. A baby who I would not know the gender or name until we could meet. A baby that I knew would change my world but I had no idea how perfect and amazing HE would be.

One year ago today, I learned that I would be a mom. And one year later, I am mom to Logan Matthew Bard.

one year ago today

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2010

scared

Im scared for tomorrow. Im not excited one bit. Im just scared. My boobs barely hurt and I feel fine. My cramps are so light with only slightly more cramping on the side my ectopic was.  I dont want to hear no. But im totally expecting it. I resfuse to take a pee test because Im sick of seeing one line. I must have 20 tests at home. They will never be used. I've seen enough negative tests to last me a lifetime. Its easier when a doc says no. Cause then we talk about what the net step is. What if its a yes? Im scared.

one year ago today

I posted this in a private blog that fallowed my IVF journey.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2010

take 2

Embryo #2 is hopefully making a home but not in the same spot as his/her not so smart "almost" sibling. We went Tuesday and they only thawed one and it survived so we do still have 2 frozen left. Hopefully this little dude/ette sticks! Would be nice. I will find out next thursday, one week from today, what my test results are. I am scared though because I havent felt cramps or pain or anything for that matter. I really really want to be pregnant and tell everyone on Christmas. But, with the reality of the situation, I just hope that the next round comes fast and this cycle doesnt take 4 months to finish.

3 months old!

At 3 months he should have mastered;
Recognizes your face and scent: He can recognize me of course and most likely Matt. He seems to also recognize the people he sees on a regular basis. Scent, I dont know.
Hold head steady: oh yes, he has that down easily.
Visually tracks moving objects: Yup! Started about 2 weeks ago and he will fallow people walking around the room.

Things he may be able to do;
Squeal, gurgle, and coo: he most certainly can make lots of noises. He enjoyed listening to his own voice in an empty house where he heard his echo.
Blows bubbles: that he does. I love when he blows bubbles as hes farting...
Recognizes your voice: he seems to know me and matt well. And he turns toward me when I talk.
Does mini-pushups: eh, sort of but not very well.

things he might be able to do;
roll over from tummy to back: nope
turn toward loud sounds: yes he does
can bring hands together: he can. He holds he hands together a lot.
bats at toys: yes. He tries so hard to maneuver things the way he wants but it doesn't usually work. He bats at things here and there.

This child is amazing and he is growing in leaps and bounds every day. You can see the learning in his eyes and how hard he tries to do things. He gets frustrated now when things dont go as planned.

Out for a walk

tummy time

Smiling with his boy Simon

 more tummy time

Naked time

Logans first Halloween

Has been postponed until Monday 11/7. How the heck does a "holiday" get postponed? A freak October snowpocalypse. 8+inches of wet snow on trees that have yet to shed their leaves because it is still fall, leads to lots and lots (and lots and lots and lots...) of branches, trees, electric lines and their respective poles all lying on the ground, houses and cars. That also leads to schools and businesses closed for a full weak before Fall is half over.
On Saturday, Matt and I lost power at 3ish. In the silence, we could hear the branches cracking and see them falling. Some branches were huge and they were very close to the house. The joined the willow tree that is still down from the hurricane. I knew I couldnt stay home with the boy so we packed up and went to my moms house. They had power still but had a generator handy and hooked up already. 7:30 and at the dinner table, power was now out at my moms. I made Matt go get the dogs from our basement and bring them to his parents (who had no power also but had a wood burning stove). Matt discovered a branch on our house that dented our gutter and blocked the back door. He was supposed to swap cars and take his cause mine had no gas left. It had about 45 miles when he left my moms. He couldn't swap cars because he forgot his keys. He went to his moms house but had to make a few detours because of downed wires and branches. He dropped the dogs off and made his way to a gas station. No gas stations had power. He made it back to my moms. Sunday morning, he went home to get his car and check out the damage. Tons more branches down, a few trees, a huge willow (damn thing wont go away on its own!) lots and lots of leaves, wires on Matts car and on the driveway, and a broken electric pole (its on our property) with wires down in the road. He couldnt take his car because it was covered in wires. Bryan (moms bf) had to bring Matt gas and then the 2 boys went in search of gas. They found it a few towns over. Gas lines were a long wait and fast food lines were just as long. Looks like power is out everywhere. They got gas and came back. Matt brought the Cats to my moms and went back to my house to clean things up along with his friend who joined him. I went to the house and packed more clothes and baby bath supplies. Just in time since we had a major blow out that was bath worthy. Tuesday, Matt went to work and I lounged around and went to the grocery store with my mom. Wednesday, I helped a friend do a bit of moving and got more things from my house. I did laundry at a friends house also. Thursday, today, my mom and I went shopping. I am ready to go home!

Our accommodations in my moms basement. We had the pack n play set up but Logan was not a fan of sleeping in it with the high wall. We put the mattress on the floor next to me and he has been sleeping fine.

 Matt and the cats in the basement.

 our yard

 matts car with wires on it

At home, I have 6 room doors and 2 closet doors to paint. I need to paint the bathroom also. Matt needs to clean the yard asap. We need our house ready to go on the market asap. I might have some news sometime soon!

He's cheaper than a girl!

The moment I was sliced open on a table hearing "Its a boy!" I thought, he will be cheaper than a girl. Ha ha ha ha... Rookie mistake? I was packing up the newborn stuff last month, and some 0-3 stuff the other day, and both times remember thinking that another boy wouldnt be so bad cause I have all this cute stuff I could use again! I have more than enough outfits for him in 3-6 and keep trying to put them on but I have some 0-3 that he can wear and I need him to wear those before they get too much smaller. I can get 0-3 on if he wears a disposable diaper but I dont do so often anymore. His 0-3 sleepers are too small and I bought plenty (too many) sleepers in 3-6 since thats what he needed most. The legs are a bit too long and hes feet dont go into the feet spots but he doesnt fit in smaller ones. I also have so many sleepers that I get excited when he needs to be changed cause that means I get to see another cute thing on him! Right now hes wearing a new dino fleece sleeper that I got at costco. 8 or 9 bucks for a 13 dollar sleeper! I may buy him clothes every time I go to costcos. I have a problem. I dont have more than I need but I have too much. Ooops. Lets not talk about all the gender neutral stuff I have, that he does wear. We can talk about socks thought! I have a huge bin of socks and I hate all of them. Almost everytime I go shopping, I look at socks. Do they make any that stay on baby feet? We lost a sock tonight somewhere in the house and my whole house is clean and we cant find it. My little boy does not have enough books or toys though. Im waiting for xmas and such to get him more stuff. He doesnt do much still so he doesnt need anything. Tomorrow though, I need to look at teethers. I have a few but he needs something easier to get into his mouth. He loves to gum on his paci.

Speaking of Costco! I want these 2 things! I dont want him to grow up but its going to be so fun.

We can also talk about my diaper problem. Im still learning what I like. I have tons of flats, many different inserts, many night time stuffers but I dont have enough covers. Im not an AIO (all in one) fan. I like the covers because I like not washing a whole diaper everytime he pees. Just change out the inside unless he he poops. It also means that he keeps the cute print on even longer if he can wear it longer. Cute print? Yes... way too cute not to have bought tonight as soon as I found out it had been stocked.

How could I resist letting my son poop in that?!?! I cant wait till my mailman drops it off!

I can do it!

My tag blanket. I have material and tags cut out to make 4 more for other people and I have more material to make a bunch more. Good, cheap gifts :P

My first square. It is missing a third crochet in the center row but thats okay :)

I think I can!

I have crocheted 8 (not so perfect) small granny squares to make Logan (cause he HAS to love what momma makes) a small (small attention span wont allow me to make a big one) blanket. I have many more squares to go and If it was in a room of blankets you would surely know it was someones first blanket ever made. But! I might be able to figure out this crochet thing after all. I also have a dinning room table full of cut out pieces of stuff to sew together when I get a chance. How many projects do I have going at once? 1,2,3,4,...5... oh and Im painting Logans bookshelves. Lucky for me, Matt let me buy new closet doors for his room cause the old ones were too nasty and dirty (previous owners) to clean and paint white. Matt also put up ALL (yes he finished a project! Even though I had no bathroom door for a week because he was too lazy to run to home depot for one small bracket) the doors in the hallway I need to paint. I need to clean the basement and get it packed up so when we move, it is ready. Move?!? Oh yes! We are trying to get our house sellable or rentable so that when we buy a new one, we can dump ours on someone else. Buy a new one?!?!  No rush to buy and we are looking for the perfect last house. So I might have a lot to do between now and anyday but, Im enjoying my cuddle time also. Playing with Logan and seeing him smile is my number one task, beside feed him when he demands it. On that note, I have a few squares to crochet to meet my daily quota. I also have baby announcements to fill envelopes out for and mail... maybe tomorrow?

2 Months

2 month milestones


Mastered skills (most kids can do)
   Vocalizes: Gurgles and coos :  Oh yes! He loves to talk and gets frustrated when your not actually listening when hes talking to you. He talks to his zebra on his swing, the butterflys on his play gym and the monkey on his bouncy swing. He coos and makes loud shrieks with his smiles. He gurgles on a regular basis, especially when getting a diaper change.
Follows objects across field of vision: He can and does but not often yet
Notices his hands: He knows how to get his hands to his mouth and can try to put his paci back in.
Hold head up for short periods: yes


Emerging skills (half of kids can do)
Smiles and laughs: oh yes. He smiles a lot when hes awake. He has laughed a few times
Holds head at 45 degree angle: eh, for a short period of time
Makes smoother movements: He is getting more fluid for sure


Advanced skills (a few kids can do)
Holds head steady: When hes wide awake, he can hold his head up very well
Can bear weight on legs: Oh yes, very well. 
Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy: Head, yes. Shoulders, not even close.

too much free time

I have way to much free time that I dont use wisely.
Tomorrow, my son will be 2 months old. Our routines are roughly set in place and many loose ends have been ties up. Most of the house is finally cleaned and organized   to a point where it is manageable and has no reason to get out of hand with me not working. Our day starts at 7:20am. I feed the boy once (sometimes twice if he went to bed really early) in the middle of the night and then get to sleep till 7 when Matt gets up. Sometimes boy is up at 6 but thats not too often. Matt feeds dogs, takes them outside and makes coffee. I change boys diaper, make matts lunch and send him to work. I feed boy, drink my coffee and eat breakfast. By then its 9 and im now wasting time. I watch my morning tv shows but all I can accomplish in that time is usually a few loads of laundry in between commercials and dishes if I didnt do them the night before. I cant be filling my time with shopping because I have nothing I need to buy and way to little willpower not to swipe my credit card at anything I like. Logan usually naps in the later morning (like now) and again in the afternoon. Hes asleep or winding down by 8 and out of the night officially by 10 or 11 at the latest. He was never forced into a routine but created a very easy to fallow one that includes sleeping 6 -7 hour stretches at night. He plays by himself long enough to allow me to get things done. I can put him on his play gym while I put laundry away and pick up the bedrooms. He plays in his bouncy seat long enough to allow me to shower and get ready for the day. He naps long enough for me to accomplish bigger tasks. 2 months down and this child is a dream. But now I need hobbies. Now that im at a point where I have too much free time, I need stuff to do.
What are my choices?
I can sew! But I cant sew.... I sewed my cloth wipes and I think they are good enough to wipe poop off a butt. They are not good enough to brag about and they are not even close to being good enough to want to give someones and be proud of. I could keep practicing but how many double sided squares does one butt need? If I could sew a straight line, I wouldn't be afraid to try new things. Im afraid of wasting money on fabric to sew crappy things with but I also dont want to have ugly things if I like how they come out. Im going to attempt some tag blankets next since those are squares and squares are my (not very good) specialty. I need to keep practicing.
Things with yarn. My mother in law tried and failed to teach me how to crochet. I made a few bookmarks but I cant get much farther than that. I make my loops too tight and end up having to quit because I cant get the hook into the thing anymore. If I had a longer attention span, maybe I could slow my pace and actually try again. I taught myself how to knit from youtube videos and google. I have knitted 2 lines. Seeing Tori make things with ease and knowing my little (not so little anymore) cousin can do it, makes me feel pathetic. Im going to need to try again. I could use some more bookmarks.
I can't wait till Logan is 6 months old and we can go to the gym and pool. Ill be able to make his food and start getting creative with foods and such. Until then, I need to find a hobby that works for me and shows off my skills. I first need to find my skills....

Logan is over a month now but...

1 month milestones: 


Mastered Skills (most kids can do):
Lifts head when lying on tummy - He can lift his head and turn it from side to side but would rather just lay there and look comfy on his belly.
Responds to sound -  we have a beagle so he responds to that very well. When hes crying, I can usually get him to stop crying and listen to me for a few seconds. Once he realizes im not saying anything important though, he gets frustrated. Or pissed that Im still talking and not feeding him...
Stares at faces - Oh yes! He seems to pay attention to your face and gives you a weird look like "you are crazy lady". 


Emerging Skills (half of kids can do):
Follows objects briefly with eyes - Eh, he can but doesnt really have the attention span to do so. 
Vocalizes: oohs and aahs - He has a squeal that he does and he does talk to himself and occasionally us. He also likes to make the farting sound with his mouth. He makes most of his sounds when hes playing by himself and shuts up when I come see who (what) hes talking to. He does "tell stories" as I say.
Can see black and white patterns - I dont know... He stares at the butterfly on his play gym and enjoys watching the ceiling fan.


Advanced Skills (a few kids can do):
Smiles, laughs - yes! He started smiling last week. He doesn't do it often but he does smile when hes really awake. He still prefers to roll his eyes at you but who knows how serious of a personality he will have. I also caught him "laughing". I got it on video and it surprised me! He was kinda huffing with the smiles but I consider that the beginning stages of a laugh. Of course he wont do it again but the smiles are also not given for free either so its going to take some more work to get it out of him.
Holds head at a 45 degree angle -  I don't know. Probably not. 


I love the smiles Im getting! I am getting more eye rolls than smiles still but I don't blame him. He doesn't smile yet when I rescue him from crying in his bed but he only has one thing on his mind then, the boob. He does smile more often when I change his diaper. And he has a good smile after a good spit up session. There of course is the good poop smile but some of those poops do deserve a good smile. He also smiles when he pulls off from eating and looks at me and its the most precious thing of all.
This child is amazingly easy. I had him on his play gym for 45 mins the other day. Of course I was walking back and forth and looking in on him and I knew where the animals were at all times. I thought he was falling asleep so I moved him to the crib where he was then wide awake but content with for a little while. He sits in his bouncy seat while I shower or do laundry or anything really and hes content in there too. This child doesn't cry or whine for much, yet. He wines when hes hungry and sometimes that turns into a cry. That's the only time I hear him cry. 
Hes a sleeper for sure! He takes his naps during the day and sleeps awesome at night. We still have yet to have a bad night or early morning. Earliest morning is 6am but even that is okay with me. Depending on when the last feed is, depends on when he wakes up in the middle of the night and that also determines when he wakes in the morning. His longest sleep has been 5 hours before stirring and waking me. After he eats, I set the alarm for 4 hours. I check his diaper and if all seems good, I se tthe alarm for another hour but he almost always wakes up between 4-5 hours. I will wake him up and change his diaper if I need to and then hes awake enough to eat. He goes right back to sleep. I had to wake him to eat once though cause I was in way to much pain. He ate and went back to sleep. He pees so much and fills the diaper fast and there is no way he could go all night in it. He is still sleeping in the pack and play next to the bed and no animals are allowed in the room at night. If he eats around 6am for a second feed, he will end up snuggling with me till 7 when we all get up. His bedroom is almost finished. We need to fix the border in one spot and paint the book shelves and organize the room. The crib is put together though and he doesn't mind napping in it so far. But Olly has taken to sleeping in the crib. I think Olly has slept in it more than baby. That means the door needs to stay shut when baby is napping in the crib. Olly has free range of the crib all night though. Moxie likes to sleep on the baby gym mat. 
We are comfortably in 0-3 clothes depending on what diaper he has on. Cloth is bulkier so some pants look funny. But his legs fit good and arms fit good. I have a feeling we will be in 3-6month clothes before 3 months. That may also have to do with the fact that my child is measuring in the 75th percentile for height and weight. He was 10lbs even at 5 weeks. He doesn't really have baby fat rolls, hes just a bigger boy. 

weeks 2-4 with Logan

Hes cute!

First bath! He didn't complain at all in the tub. He didn't know what to make of it but the fallowing bunch of baths have proved he may actually like bath time! He however does not like the time from getting out of the tub, to right before the towel is wrapped around him. As soon as he is warm again though, hes happy. And of course he smells so good after! He gets a bath every few days right now. Usually after a good spit up or a good poop.

Tummy time! He doesn't mind being on his belly. He likes it on the floor, and he likes it on his daddy. He moves his head from side to side and gets on his knees and kicks his legs. 

Outings! He goes many a places with us/me. He visits daddy and grandpa and uncle Eric at the bowling ally. He didn't bowl, or wake up for that matter, but he had fun... sleeping.

 Pacifiers! Hes not a fan of them and only takes one at certain times. Usually when he starts sucking on his hand, it means he wants to eat. Usually, I can feed him. But if we are out or in the car we try to hold him over with the pacy. Usually it does not work but when it does, it buys us an extra few mins. Like to get from one end of the mall to the other so I can nurse at babies r us (a few times) or if I am almost home! If it doesn't work, I am stuck feeding him where I am and that's fine too. He has probably only taken the pacy 5 or 6 times in his first month. Never has it been at night to fall asleep and never has it been for more than a few mins till he spits it out. We do think that he will be a thumb or finger sucker once he figures out how to use his hand.

 Cloth diapers! I could use more diapers but I bought enough to learn what I'm doing and what I like. I have neutral colors and need to get some boy stuff but I need to see what works for us first. We are still using disposables for out of the house because the cloth is so bulky on him cause hes still small and I could use a bigger diaper bag and more diapers. I also cut out all the squares to my wipes but need to sew them. Shouldn't take more than an hour to do it all. Its not the boy that keeps me from finishing them, its the kitten! I am afraid to use the sewing machine with her around. But, I need to finish those.

 His swing and bouncy seat! He doesn't really know what to do in his swing or bouncy seat yet. He falls asleep anywhere, and anyway, so using the swing to fall asleep doesn't work. But once he is asleep, I stick him the swing and hes comfy for hours. Can do the same with the bouncy seat. I also take the bouncy seat into the bathroom with me when I shower. He will stay awake in the seat and look around and be content for a while.

 Hes so cute!

Some more topic without pictures are:

Breastfeeding! He has yet to have a bottle. I need to break out my pump that is still sealed in the box and start using it and get him used to a bottle. But one whole month with just boobs is an awesome accomplishment to me! I have nursed him a few times at babies r us, a kids birthday party, in the room at the drs, the locker room at the bowling ally and at many a houses. I have nursed in the parking lots of McDonalds, Big Y, Kohls, Walmart and the bowling ally. Some of those more than once.

Potty! He pees way to much. He also poops often. His favorite time to poop is as soon as he has a new fresh diaper on. I also like to hear him grunt cause its funny.