one year ago today

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2010

465

I am pregnant. Oh my goodness! I have no idea what to do or how to feel. Im excited and really scared. My number is very high which is a very good sign. I go back in 4 days to see what the number does. We shall see how this goes! I will alert the media at Christmas time. Im excited for that. I have so many emotions and I feel emotionless at the same time.

One year ago, I got up early and had to get my blood drawn between 7-9am. I got there around 8, they took my blood, and I went home. I waited and waited and waited by the phone. I sat on the couch all day long with the tv off. I couldnt think, or feel, or even stand anymore. I just sat. And at 2pm, my phone rang. I can still hear it clear as day. "Kristin, Hi! Its Ellen" Ellen was the nurse who I saw a few times but talked to on the phone many many times. She has met Logan already because we love her. "Hi Ellen" "Well, your number is 465" "Holy shit" "Yeah, so I think its safe to say your pregnant Kristin" "Holy shit" "So we need you to come back in 4 days for a retest" "k" HOLY SHIT! I cried. And cried and ran around the house and cried and sat down again and cried and then called my husband, crying of course. Called my mom crying. And then I collected my marbles and realized I had a long time ahead of me before I had a baby. A baby that I was finally growing. A baby who I would not know the gender or name until we could meet. A baby that I knew would change my world but I had no idea how perfect and amazing HE would be.

One year ago today, I learned that I would be a mom. And one year later, I am mom to Logan Matthew Bard.